It's Dwarfin' Time

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«Ronitt to the Rescue

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All by himself? I can't see that ending well...
That's...unexpected, to say the least.
Bugger my beard! You scared the life out of me!
Phew... For a moment, I thought you were a hobgoblin. Seems being so far from Tomra has got me jumping at shadows. Hold on. I know you...
You're the one who was helping Ronitt! As for me, the name's Regitt. I forgot to introduce myself before, but I was there when that off little lad gave his first proper lali-ho. What? You don't remember me?
In all fairness, the fact you're covered from head to toe in identical outfits does make it a little difficult to tell one dwarf from the next...
Well, they have their ways and we have ours. Anyway, it's wonderful to see you again, Forename. Regitt was just asking us for directions.
I'd almost forgotten about that! Actually, I was on my way to...what was it called? Crystaltown? No, no, that's not it. Something to do with crystals... Gah! Why can't I remember the sodding name!?
You see, Ronitt is nowhere to be found. He did leave a note behind in Tomra, though.
Yes! The letter! I have it right here.
Ronitt's Letter
To whoever might be concerned,

I am off to the Crystarium to find my first and best friend, Forename.


If the chief asks where I've gone, just make something up. The automata will take care of my work, so he should have no reason to complain. Oh, and don't forget to feed them while I'm away! With coal, that is.

Bye!
That's what it says, anyway. That boy may have mastered the fine art of a good, old-fashioned lali-ho, but that won't get him very far in the...Crystarea, or whatever it's called.
Yes, and even if the opening pleasantries go as planned, it's what comes after that matters most. He'd be the first to admit that polite conversation isn't exactly his forte...
Since he went there looking for Forename, maybe the two of you could go and find him before he gets into─or causes─any trouble.
That reminds me, will Ronitt being away lead to any difficulties in the “rock phosphate for grog” arrangement between our villages?
The Orehound Ogre he built seems to be going about its work as normal, even without him here to operate it, so I think we'll be fine for the time being.
All right, that settles it. We're off to find Ronitt! Although, I should probably point out that this is actually the first time I've gone more than a malm or so outside of Tomra. I'm counting on you, so please try to keep the mishaps and misadventure to a bare minimum!
Not that I'm scared, mind you! Ho ho, not one bit... Ahem! Without any further ado, let's make haste for the Crystaforium!
And we wish you both a safe journey to the Crystarium! Hee hee!
I must admit, I don't envy you having to keep an eye on not one, but two dwarves in a place like the Crystarium. Who knows what sort of trouble they'll get into?
I have a feeling it won't take long to find him. For better or worse, dwarves have a habit of drawing attention wherever they go!
Another dwarf? Or is it the same one I saw before?
I've never seen so many people in one place! Unfortunately, not one of them is our errant engineer.
Where could he be? I wouldn't be surprised if he's whimpering in some corner, wishing he'd never come here. With all these big folk walking about, he's probably scared one of them'll trip over him!
Well, slap my arse and call me a phooka! You're the second honest-to-gods dwarf I've seen
tonight
!
Really!? So, where was the first?
Over at the Mean, playing hide-and-seek by the looks of it. Or maybe he was just lost?
That's him, it's got to be! Come on, Forename, let's go and nab him before he runs off again.
I remember when dwarves were just something you'd only hear about in stories. But now, I'm seeing them all over the place!
So, this is the Mean, eh? From the name, I thought it'd be full of scowling faces, but they all seem quite friendly. Anyway, where'd Ronitt get to?
Ha! Found him!
So many of them... So soddin' tall... I wish Forename were here!
<beep> Forename detected.
Forename!
Oi! Watch it, short arse!
So, when you heard that Forename is staying in the Crystarium, you came here looking for him? That's quite the journey for one so young.
Gettin' here was easy! Startin' conversation's what's hard. Every time I try givin' someone a good, ol'-fashioned lali-ho, they look at me like I'm daft or somethin'!
Never mind all that─you found Forename in the end. Or he found you, more like. Come to think of it, why were you looking for him in the first place?
It's simple, really. I always thought Forename was just a...I dunno, helpful traveler or some such, but the chief tells me he's a hero who risked life and limb to save the world!

When I heard that, I thought that it's only right that I do the same! Trouble is, I'm not sure where to start. But I'm not goin' back to Tomra until I find a way to prove myself your equal!


And while I'm not much of a fighter, there are other ways I can help those in need. Because unlike the rest of my village, who can't think beyond their next pint of ale, I've got big dreams! Ambitions!
Now, now. There's nothing wrong with a well-earned drink or ten after a hard day's work, but that's besides the point. How can you hope to compete with someone like Forename?
You might be known as the greatest warrior the world's ever seen...
But there's one thing I can do better than you: craftin'!
What will you say?
Ha! I'm a crafter too, you fluffy-bearded nincompoop! Actually, I've been known to dabble in artisanry myself.
Whaaat!? You must be joking!
Why, Forename has been putting his skills as a
job
to help around the Mean for some time now.
Now there's a surprise. Had I known sooner, I'd have asked you to help around the Mean. If you have a moment to spare, come and see me. I've all sorts of tasks lined up for a master craftsman.
Trust me to make friends with one of those annoyin' people who's good at everythin'... I suppose there's no need to make it into a competition, though. Why don't we, uh...what's the word...cooperate? There might be someone around here who needs our help.
How about you, miss? Got anythin' that needs mendin'? Or maybe one of my patented automata can carry out a few menial tasks?
Hmm... Where to begin?

We did receive a report a few days ago of a caravan of merchants being attacked by roving sin eaters, not far from Sullen.


While they were able to escape without any casualties, they had no choice but to abandon almost all of the produce they were transporting. I fear it's only a matter of time until it happens again. Is there anything you can do?
Sin eaters? Bugger that.
This Fetchomatic Mechatoad might come in handy. A few extra spiky bits should do the trick. Hmm... On second thought, it might take more than that. I'll need somewhere to use as a workshop to carry out some modifications...
You mean to say you build these yourselves? It certainly is...imposing. In a way only a three-wheeled mechanical frog can be.
Now there's a fine compliment if ever I heard one! I think... This example of dwarven engineering was lovingly crafted by young Ronitt, here. He's a descendant of the great blacksmith Watts, and well on his way to becoming the pride of Tomra in his own right!
Yes, judging by the quality of his work, I can see why.
In fact, I have a proposal. If you're willing to lend us your expertise, we can arrange space for you to use as a workshop.
Really?
When I say “space,” that's essentially all there is. We'd planned to build a storehouse near the Ostall Imperative, but we had to divert our resources elsewhere, and it was never completed. It seems to me you'd put it to good use.
After all, a friend of Forename's is a friend of ours.
That's very generous of you, miss! I'll turn that place into a first-class workshop in two shakes of a newborn's beard!
Excellent. I'll inform those at the Imperative, so they aren't too surprised when automata start appearing out of the blue. I suggest you make yourselves known to Lorathia, who owns the land. She's a regular at the Clearmelt springs, so try there first.
Sounds like some meetin' and greetin' is in order. I reckon it'll go a lot smoother if you're there to cover for me in the likely event I put my foot in it somehow. I also have no bloody idea how to get there. So, lead the way!
Please give Lorathia my regards, and do try not to be discouraged if she seems a little...irascible at first.
Nothing better than a long soak in the springs, and Clearmelt has the best for malms around. It’s a shame I can’t have the whole place to myself!
<beep> <boop>
These hot springs look awfully...hot. I'd go for a dip myself, but I'm worried my head would boil inside my helmet! Taking it off first is out of the question, obviously.
So, this is Clearmelt, eh? Funny name for a bunch of rocks and a couple of ponds, if you ask me. More importantly, where's that Lorathia person?
You there! Old crone! I'm lookin' for Lorathia. You know where she is?
Call me an old crone again and I'll rip that silly beard off and shove it down your throat, you mouthy little gobshite.

But if it's Lorathia you're after, you're looking at her. What do you want?


Katliss sent you, did she? Hmm... If she thinks you're all right, that's good enough for me.


So, tell me, what are you planning to make in this workshop of yours? And don't go thinking you can impress me with a load of technical jargon. I was an engineer myself, you know.
I'm gonna modify this here automaton so that it can transport goods and keep them safe from sin eaters.
Pah! It won't be transporting much of anything with those stubby little arms, let alone fend off attackers.
And even if it could store goods in its torso, by the time it's done windmilling into the bastards, all those wares will have been shaken to buggery. Good luck to the poor sods who have to sell that.
Yeah, but the windmillin's the best part!
Ronitt, the old woman has a point, you know.
Less of the “old,” or I'll use that beard of yours to scrub the baths, with the rest of you still attached!
So, we need a way to carry as much as possible while strikin' the sin eaters from a distance...
That's it! Everyone, gather round!
Wicked white... It's so old, the ink's probably the only thing holding it together.
The design's from the days before the Flood, the brainchild of the great Watts himself. It's a self-propelled transportation device, armed to the teeth. I call it...

The Rollin' Tankard!


Its thick iron shell keeps the cargo inside safe and sound, while the cannon blasts any attackers to smithereens!
What an amazing coincidence that you've had the perfect solution in your pocket this whole time! Even before you knew what the problem was!
This ain't no coincidence. Ever since I found a bunch of blueprints in a tightly locked safe back when I was little, I've taken them with me wherever I go. Never know when Watts's ideas might come in handy!
'Course, I'm not just gonna make one of these, oh no. I'll make a whole bunch of 'em, and send them all over Norvrandt. Soon everyone'll see how great dwarven engineerin' really is!
But this only shows how it should look from the outside, with no mention of the inner workings. Are you sure you can pull this off?
I'd bet my beard on it!

And to be honest, dwarven technology's come a long way since Watts's time. He probably didn't design the insides because there was no way to actually make somethin' like this back then.


Luckily, we've got my skills to bring Watts's ideas to life. I'll have a prototype up and runnin' in no time!
Listen, Ronitt. You're not the only one who knows how to swing a hammer around here. If we combine our efforts, it'll be ready even sooner.
Cheers mate, 'preciate it.
I must say, I'd be interested to see how this all turns out. I'll let you use my land, as long as you don't turn it into a smoldering crater.
You won't regret this! But if we're to build a workshop, we'll need a few more pairs of hands. I'll head back to Tomra and round up some volunteers.
Hold it right there!

If this place is going to be overrun with dwarves, at least give me some way to tell you apart.


How am I meant to know who's who if you all dress like that?
Not sure if you realize this, madam, but we dwarves don't exactly have extensive wardrobes. But, in the interests of a smooth-running operation, I'll ask my friend Karutt if there's anything we can do.
Pff. So much for helpin'. More like “bugger off back to Tomra and leave poor Ronitt to do everythin' by himself!” Well, you're still here, so you can give me a hand instead. Let's go and take a look at this plot of land, shall we?
That land used to belong to a relative of mine who moved to the Crystarium to get away from the sin eaters. Since then, I've been at a loss as to what to do with it. I'm not exactly inundated with potential tenants, as you can well imagine.
<beep> <boop>
Welcome to the workshop! Or “workshop-to-be,” I suppose I should call it. Either way, this is where Watts's vision will become reality.

Although, I have to admit, it's not gonna be as easy as I've made out. Havin' you here does make the task seem less dauntin', though.


And even though I was a bit miffed at first to hear you're into craftin' as well─stealin' my thunder and all that─I'm glad we've got somethin' in common.


If you can lend a hand between whatever it is the Warrior of Darkness does the rest of the time, it'd mean the world to me.
So, what do you say, Forename? Will you help me?
What will you say?
What the world needs now is tanks, sweet tanks. Of course I'll help. No. You talked yourself into this. Build your own damned tanks.
Phew! I was worried you was gonna say no for a moment there! Now, let's make some tanks!
Ah. Not quite the answer I was hopin' for. Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.
Erm, but before that, there are a few things we need to get in order. We won't get much work done without somethin' at least resemblin' a workshop.
If you're in the mood for helpin', maybe you could rustle me up some basic parts? I've got a list of everythin' I need. Anyone with even a passin' interest in metalworkin' should be able to manage it, so I'm sure you'll be fine!
If you're in the mood for helpin', maybe you could rustle me up some basic supplies? I've got a list of everythin' I need. Anyone with even a passin' interest in handicrafts' should be able to manage it, so I'm sure you'll be fine!

If you're in the mood for helpin', maybe you could rustle me up a few concoctions? I've got a list of everythin' I need. Anyone who's so much as brewed a pot of tea should be able to manage it, so I'm sure you'll be fine!


As another example of my incredible foresight, I've already had the Fetchomatic Mechatoad collect a load of random─I mean, potentially very useful─materials on the way over. This should be enough.


If you somehow manage to bugger it up, don't worry. We've got plenty more. I'll be takin' care of the rest of the preparations, so come and see me when you're done.
Run into some difficulties, did you? Not to worry, there's more where that came from. In the automaton's belly, that is.
<beep> Request for ingredients acknowledged.
All done? Let's see what you've brought me, then!

Ah. I gotta say, I wasn't expectin' it to be quite this good. Not showin' off, are you?


Me and the Mechatoad'll take care of the rest, so you go and put your feet up for a bit. Don't want you takin' all the credit, now!
There you are! Welcome to Watts's Anvil!
The two of you did all this!? I can't believe it!
I-Is that you, Ronitt? Why, I...I hardly recognized you! Have you done something with your beard?
Well spotted, Karutt!

Accordin' to the legends, Watts had a brown beard and white horns. Seein' as I'm his descendant, I thought I'd follow suit!


Now that we've got a proper workshop, we can get started on makin' a prototype of the Rollin' Tankard.


To tell the truth, I'm not used to havin' this sort of pressure. Still, I've got you and the others here to do the heavy lif─essential tasks, so I'm sure everythin' will go exactly as planned!
Speaking of essential tasks, I'll be handling the supply of the various parts and whatnot, so come and see me when you're ready to show us those skills of yours.
Lali-ho! Isn’t this great? All of us workin’ together to make Watt’s vision a reality.
Now, I know the tanks are designed for carryin’ goods and whatnot, but I thought Xemutt might like to go for a ride one day.
I’ve managed to sneak a few Tholls out of Tomra to lend a hand here, but if the chief catches wind of it, there’ll be trouble!
Welcome to Watt’s Anvil, a workshop worthy to bear the name of our illustrious ancestor!
It’s hard to believe that the mastermind behind it all is none other than Ronitt. I remember when he was too shy to even give a proper lali-ho, but he’s certainly making up for lost time!
Take care of your tools and they’ll take care of you. That’s what I always say!
<beep> <boop> Initiating self-destruct sequence. Proceed? <beep> Self-destruct sequence could not be completed due to an error. Please reset and try again.
Wh-What do you think? Does this c-color suit me?
The folks in T-Tomra might frown upon it, but they’d pr-probably frown at me running off to help Ronitt as well.
It’s my job to keep the workshop stocked with all the supplies we might need. And before you ask, no, I haven’t any grog.