I Drink, Therefore I Am (in Trouble)

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No, don't hit me! Oh wait, you're not Guthlaugur.
He's a local thug who I made the mistake of drinking with. I ended up saying all sorts of things like, “Think you're tough, do you? My mate could wipe the floor with you!” Gods only know why I said─ there ain't a word of truth in it!
Of course, he didn't see the funny side. He told me to bring this friend of mine or he'd fight me instead!
So, I was wondering... Could you go and sort him out for me? I'll make it worth your while, I swear!
So, you're gonna “wipe the floor” with me, are you?
I brought him, just like I said I would!
Hmph! Scrawny streak of piss like you? Don't make me laugh.
I've killed sin eaters with my bare hands, so you won't even make me break a sweat.
And after I'm done with this feeble sack of shite, you're next!
Eeek!
Since I'm feelin' generous, I'll let you take the first swing. Better make it a good one, 'cause you won't get a second chance!
If you lose, I'm a dead man!
I'm gonna make you bleed!
Stop pummeling me! It's really painful!
Bloody hells! You actually did it! All right, let's head back before any of the wildlife takes an interest in us.
That ought to take him down a peg or two. I doubt he'll stick around here after a beating like that.
And I'll have to choose who I drink with more carefully from now on. I've got a habit of saying all sorts of nonsense when I'm in my cups.
It damn near earned me an early grave, and I'm lucky that you showed up when you did. Many thanks to you!