Nothing to See Here

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«We Must Rebuild Underneath the Sultantree»

Central Thanalan

Ul'dah Dispatch Yard

Since you've come all this way, perhaps you can perform an errand for me. It just so happens a number of sentries have been sent to guard the area. A dispatch to the Dispatch Yard, as it were. They have long been away from the shade and featherbeds of the city. The hot days and cold nights can play hells on the mind and body out here. It isn't much, but go and give them these twilight pretzels, would you? I find comfort food always helps when I feel like killing myself.
Western front, clear! Eastern front, clear! For me? From Papashan? A twilight pretzel... My favorite! How did he know!? Can't fight on an empty stomach, now, can I? Actually...I can't fight on any stomach. I suppose you could say I have no stomach...for fighting. Brigands beware! The Sultansworn are here to serve and protect!
Halt! Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to put the pretzel on the ground and place your hands above your head! State your name and business! A twilight pretzel from Papashan? By the gods, forgive me! You could say this new post has my nerves in a...twist. I'm...I'm terribly sorry for that. Ahem, yes, well, you may rest assured that the Dispatch Yard is safe so long as I stand watch. Please give Papashan my thanks, and tell him that I only wish I could repay the favor... Nothing to report, here. Peace reigns another day in central Thanalan.
Twelve save me. Scorching days... Freezing nights... This post will be the end of me. A twilight pretzel? Don't mind if I do! Ahhh, now that's a refreshing godsdamned pretzel! I feel reborn! <sigh> Much as I hate to say it, though, the pretzel does nothing to change the fact that these hot days are bloody intolerable... [1]
You've returned—and with a deal fewer pretzels, I see! Tell me, how fare our Sultansworn sentries? Did they have anything to report, anything at all!? What? Nothing? Are you sure? I...oh, oh dear. Take this for your troubles, then. And stay a moment—there is more I would ask of you.
  1. He'll say "cold nights" instead of "hot days" depending on the current time.