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Revenge of the Furred

«The Kobold and the Beautiful
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Aiyeeeeee! We must flee this place, adventurer─run, dash, flee for our lives!

Why? Because Bi Bi said so, and dare I disobey my dear Bi Bi again? No, no, I dare not.

Why must we flee? She tried to tell me, but I was too horrified to listen─terrified, petrified, horrified! If you would know more, find her and ask yourself. I will be holding my paws over my ears. Yes, yes, I will.

It is not like my Bi Bi to panic so. No, no, it is rare indeed. Whatever has happened, it must be dire─grim, dreadful, dire!
Adventurer! D-Did you not flee with Gi Gu!? You must leave this place. No, no, it is not safe for─
Well, well...looky what we have here. Stragglers, eh─laggards, strayers, stragglers...
Ewww, a hairless one! Just looking at him makes me want to retch─gag, heave, retch!
Bi Bi. I warned you what would happen if you betrayed me, but did you listen? No, no, you didn't...
Forename! Are ye─ <gulp> This doesn't look good...
Z-Zo Ga, please listen─hear, hark, listen!
Gi Gu! You and your mangy lot weren't content with a bunch of spongers─leeches, scroungers, spongers. No, no, you would drag down your betters to your sorry standing.
N-No, Zo Ga! No, no, this is not so!
Shut your maw! I see the adventurer standing beside you. You are a traitor to the tunnels─a turncoat, a treasonist, a traitor!
Please, Zo Ga! I...I only wanted to go home!
Oh, I have a new home for you. Yes, yes, I do... It's cozy, and oh-so-warm─scorching, scalding, warm. Yes, you'll make fine fuel for our flames...
Zo Ga! Have mercy─
You disappoint me, Bi Bi. Yes, yes, you do. By my side, you could have had power and riches beyond your wildest dreams. Yet you cast your lot with this weakling─this sop, this doormat, this weakling.
Please, Zo Ga! I will do anything you say! Yes, yes, anything at all! Just spare poor Gi Gu's life!
Bi Bi! No, no, you must not!
Anything, you say? Anything at all...? Now here's an astute girl─smart, sharp, astute. Zo Ga can find a job for you. Yes, yes, I can...

A skilled alchemist, you are. Yes, yes, and quite the looker, too. You will slave in my workshop by day and keep me warm by night. Yes, you will.

And if I ever catch you slacking off, I'll feed you to the furnace and blast your whole order into the sea. Bwahahaha!
Gi Gu... Promise you will come for me─swear, vow, promise...?
Bi Bi! Bi Biiiiii! <sniff>
That Zo Ga... Talk about gettin' too big for yer britches. Still, I fear for the kobold lass's well-bein'...
Bi Bi! This is unfair─unreasonable, unjust, unfair!
And it's yer bloody fault as much as anyone's! If ye moved yer legs and paws 'alf as much as ye do yer mouth, maybe ye could 'ave saved the girl from 'er fate.
Bi Bi... <sniff> You speak true─verily, assuredly, true. At last─long, long last─I see the error of my ways. Yes, to save his love, Gi Gu will follow wherever you go.
Finally, yer talkin' some sense! Now, round up yer best men─we're off to U'Ghamaro to take the battle to Zo Ga.
What!? Y-You cannot be serious. This is madness─craziness, lunacy, madness!
“Follow wherever ye go,” eh!? Bloody worthless, ye are! What in the seven 'ells does Bi Bi even see in ye!? do not understand... No, no, you do not see. Round up my best men? No, kobold will follow a leader as pathetic as me. I am alone─helpless, hopeless, alone.
It is you who speaks madness, Gi Gu─craziness, lunacy, madness. You know nothing. No, no, nothing at all.
Listen to us, Gi Gu. Yes, yes, listen well. We are with you─we have always been with you.
Bo Zu and Bo Bu speak true. Are we jealous of Bi Bi's love for you? Yes, yes, we are. But you are our leader, and you have always led us well. Wherever you go, we will follow faithfully─dutifully, loyally, faithfully.
Bo Zu... Bo Bu... Bo Gu... But I am...I am─
Yer the leader of the 789th, that's what ye are, and it's 'igh time ye bloody acted the part! Yer friends are countin' on ye, and Bi Bi all the more so! The choice is yers to make─now, what do ye say!?
I...I will go. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! Just wait, my precious Bi Bi─Gi Gu is coming to save you!
Music to my bloody ears! I guess men─er, kobolds─can change, after all.

Now listen up! Forename and I will storm U'Ghamaro from the fore and create a diversion. Gi Gu─ye'll sneak into the workshop the back way and put Zo Ga's new furnace out of commission. Yer fruitcake of a friend Ba Go should be able to furnish us with the tools for the task, aye?

Amidst all the smoke and clatter, we'll find Bi Bi and return 'er to safety. Now listen, Gi Gu─Forename and I stand with ye, but this is yer battle. The life and livelihood of you, yer friends, and yer love─it's all in yer grubby paws. Got it? Good! Now let's hear yer battle cry!
<gulp> I... I... Mammyyyyyyyyy! F-Forgive me. You will speak to Ba Go for me, yes? I need a moment to reflect─meditate, contemplate, reflect.
You will go to Ba Go and ask him to ready our tools, yes? I need a moment to gather my strength─my courage, my power, my strength.
Looks like our words finally got through to gutless ol' Gi Gu. It's about bloody time, I say!
Ready yerself, Forename─there'll be some fireworks in U'Ghamaro tonight. Aye, I've been waitin' for a mission like this ever since I joined the Maelstrom.
You and Gi Gu will make things go boom? Make mayhem─madness, massacre, mayhem? Ba Go will help. Oh, yesss, yesss, he will!

Ba Go will give you the biggest, burstingest of Ba Go's beauties. They make very big booms, they do. Yesss, yesss, indeed!

Zo Ga's, no, not just his workshop. All of U'Ghamaro will be reduced to rubble─wreckage, ruin, rubble!

You will distract Zo Ga's lackeys, help Gi Gu do his deed, yes? Ba Go has a present for you as well─a gift, a boon, a present.
Take these lovely, lovely little ones. Their size may be trifling, but do not be fooled. No, no. Set them off in succession, and they will make lovely, lovely sparks. Yesss, yesss, they will.
Ba Go has waited long, long for this day. You will take my lovelies and make big booms and blasts? Make U'Ghamaro go boom, yes?
Gi Gu has been thinking─pondering, contemplating, thinking. Maybe we can just call this off and stay home, stay safe? No, no, we can't?
Ye've brought the bombs, aye, Forename? Good! Let's begin. Ye've got more experience 'andlin' these things than I, so I'll leave the technical side to you. I'll keep lookout for Zo Ga and 'is scurvy 'enchmen.

Aye, that should do the trick 'round 'ere. Now to delve a bit deeper. Follow me!

I'll keep watch, just as before. When yer done plantin' the bombs, ye just say the word.

Looks like our job 'ere is done. The rest is up to Gi Gu─a right 'orrifyin' thought, that.
Zo Ga's workshop lies right beyond this door, and I've already taken the liberty of knockin' out the doorman and relievin' 'im of 'is key. Let's 'op to it, then, eh, Forename?
Enter the 13th Order workshop?
Yes No
Adventurer! You have come to see Gi Gu do his job, yes? Yes, behold─gaze, regard, behold!

Ah, that should do it, probably...possibly...maybe? You are proud of Gi Gu, yes? Yes, yes, you should be!

Oh, if only Bi Bi could see me now! Yes, she would be smitten─swooning, struck, smitten!

Wh-What was that noise!? Oh, adventurer, we must flee─run, fly, flee─before scary, scary Zo Ga finds us!
What's keepin' that bloody Gi Gu!? That worthless pile o' shite best 'ave found the furnace. 'Cause if 'e's off cowerin' in some corner instead...
That craven kobold did 'is job, eh? It's a bloody miracle! Now let's get out of 'ere before the whole place comes tumblin' down.
Leave the 13th Order workshop?
Yes. No.
Gi Gu's job is done. Now, we must leave before Zo Ga returns or we are dead for sure─doomed, deceased, dead!
Back to the dig! Yes, quickly, swiftly, briskly!
Gi Guuuuuu! I will crush you─smash you, squash you, crush you!
In all my years, I have never suffered such indignity! You are finished, Gi Gu! Yes, yes, your bones will feed my furnace!
Stand back, adventurer. No, no, no further.
This is... This is my battle─my fight, my struggle, my battle.
Feel the pain, Gi Gu! The hurt...the suffering...the pain!
Ow! Ow! Have mercy, Zo Ga. Yes, yes, have mercy!
There will be no mercy for you, Gi Gu! No, no, not ever! You will feel the full brunt of my wrath─my anger, my rage, my wrath!
Zo... <heave> Ga... <cough> P-Please...
Die─perish, croak, die─like the worthless dreg you are!
Zo... Ga...
A sucker for punishment, eh? Yes, yes, you are...
Zo Ga! Please stop this─I beg you, beseech you, implore you!

Gi Gu has suffered enough. Yes, yes, he has.

You are strong, Zo Ga. Yes, strong and skilled with the pick. You should be leading us to greater heights! Why waste your strength on poor, weak Gi Gu!?
<cough> ...Silent...
Gi Gu...?
Yes, yes, be silent! Shut up! Close your bloody maw!
Gi Gu?
Gi Gu...?
Gi Gu!?
Stand back! Hands off! Get lost! Yes, yes, all of you! I never asked for your help─no, no, not a one of you! This is Gi Gu's battle!

See this, Zo Ga? Yes, yes, you do! This is Ba Go's life's work─his magnum opus! It brims with the power to blast you and the whole 13th Order into dust─debris, detritus, dust!

This is for all those years of oppression─insult, abuse, oppression! Yes, yes, Zo have walked over Gi Gu for the last time!

Zo Gaaaaaa! I'll see you, see you in the seventh hell!
Wh-What!? Gi Gu, what have you...!?
I'm finished─done, complete, finished.
Thank you, my friends─my comrades, my allies, my friends. It is you─yes, yes, all of you─who gave me the courage to fight that battle. Yes, a battle I should have fought long ago.
Hahaha! I 'ad me doubts, I must admit, but I'm 'appy to say ye proved me wrong. And you, Forename─this wouldn't 'ave been possible without ye.
With Zo Ga out of the way, the kobolds of U'Ghamaro should quiet down─a development which should please Commander Bloeidin and the Red Swallows. Spent more time in those tunnels than I'd 'ave liked, but all's well that ends well.
Bi Bi! You have come! You are proud of me, yes? Yes, yes, what do you think of your Gi Gu now!? are horrible─terrible, miserable, horrible! I've never been told such hurtful things─no, no, never! What happened to the sweet Gi Gu I used to know!? Good-bye, Gi Gu...<sniff>...farewell...
I cannot win. No, no, not with her.

But do not worry about Gi Gu─do not fret, do not fuss, do not worry.

Yes, for my battle with Zo Ga has given me new courage─strength, confidence, courage.

I will win back Bi Bi's heart, yes. I will increase our productivity a hundredfold. I will not rest─slack, slumber, rest─until the 789th becomes the 1st!
I will do all this─yes, all this and more! Yes, yes...<yawn> soon as I awake from my nap.
...Perhaps I spoke too soon. Anyroad, there's little more that we can do, Forename. I'll stop off at Camp Overlook. Would ye mind goin' on ahead to Maelstrom Command?
Aye, the Red Swallows should be right pleased to 'ear of Zo Ga's demise. I'll deliver the news to Commander Bloeidin. In the meantime, what say ye to reportin' back to Maelstrom Command?
Gi Gu is relieved that the battle is over─at ease, at peace, relieved. Yes, yes, I think it is time for a well-deserved rest...
<GC Rank/Surname>
! I feared we'd lost ye to the tunnels.

To think that a single missin' shipment would lead ye on such a circuitous journey through the bowels of U'Ghamaro. I shudder at the thought.

And yet, though there is still a long road ahead, I daresay yer efforts 'ave gone far in leadin' us down the path o' peace with the kobolds.

Aye, ye've done Limsa proud this day, my friend─accept this as remuneration for yer deeds. On behalf of the Maelstrom and the Admiral 'erself, I commend ye!
Never 'ad much of a fondness for kobolds, but after gettin' to know the little buggers better, I must say they're not all 'alf bad. Aye, there may be 'ope for an understandin' between our peoples yet... Mind ye, I wouldn't 'old me breath waitin'.
Zo Ga's workshop is just beyond this door. Come, Forename─we'd best go and make sure Gi Gu isn't off cowerin' in a corner somewhere.