Welcome, welcome! I have been assigned this prominent counter space for one reason─to provide material rewards to our loyal volunteers. The more people who come to lend a fin, the more items we can offer!
Great news, Forename! We have gone from offering many items to offering many, many items! I recommend our new authentic Namazu effigy─live sacrifice not included, no, no.
You can finally purchase a mikoshi of your very own─are you not delighted? Now the melodious squeaking of Namazu steps and a chorus of cheerful “wasshois” will accompany you wherever you go. Forever!