A Spoonful Less Sugar
Limsa Lominsa Upper Decks
Glad tidings, Forename─the Bismarck has been chosen to host the Dellemont d'Or! What better place to cook than in one's own kitchen? A member of the contest council has come to the Culinarians' Guild to register participants. Please go and give him your name at once!
A member of the contest council has come to the Culinarians' Guild to register participants for the Dellemont d'Or. Please go and give him your name at once!
The Bismarck (Culinarians' Guild)
Greetings to you, good sir. Have you come to register to compete in the Dellemont d'Or? ...Forename Surname─is that correct? Very good, sir. We look forward to seeing you on contest day.
The Missing Member
You've registered your name? Excellent! Now you have but to prepare for the contest. Speaking of which, I have a task to help get you into form. One of our diners wishes to have dessert, but there's nothing to her liking on the menu. She's been sitting there for a whole hour, unable to make up her mind. As the guild's foremost culinarian, I believe you'll be able to whip up something to suit her palate. To begin with, you'll want to inquire after her preferences. It's the steerswoman at the table on the right, in case I haven't already mentioned it.
I would be grateful if you could whip up a dessert to suit the steerswoman's palate. To begin with, you'll want to inquire after her preferences.
Ugh, all these sweets look too damn...sweet!
...Oi, don't rush me! I can't make decisions under pressure! Eh? Ye'll make me a dessert what ain't on the menu? Yer a godssend! So, 'ere's the deal: I can't stand sweet things. Stuff makes me want to retch. Thing is, I've met a man who's perfect in all ways but one─bloke's got the sweetest bleedin' tooth this side o' Vylbrand. If we're to work out, I've got to learn to eat sweets. Or suppress the urge to gag, at least. That's why I'm 'ere─to train meself. This is me first time an' all, so be gentle with me, eh? Make me somethin' what ain't so sweet.
...Did I hear you rightly? She says she doesn't like sweets? Oh, that's bollocks! I'd wager she's just afraid o' what she don't know! Be gentle? Sod that! Let's feed 'er somethin' so brazenly sweet that it'll blow the skeptic clean out of 'er! A Sohm Al tart made with a veritable mountain o' fresh cream an' sugar, accompanied with a rich cup of Ishgardian tea! That's yer order, Forename!
So, 'ow's the Sohm Al tart an' the Ishgardian tea comin' along?
...Hurrrgh! Th-This stuff looks sweet as sin! What 'appened to bein' gentle!?
Listen 'ere! Forename 'appens to be one of Eorzea's finest culinarians! Ye oughts to be honored 'e's cookin' fer yer sorry arse! What's more, ye want things to work out with yer man or not!?
Alright, alright! I'll try it! <sob> Bugger me, that was good! The chestnut wasn't near as cloyin' as I expected, an' the cream underneath was a pleasant surprise. 'Twas sweet, aye, but not too sweet. An' there was somethin' else to it besides. Richness? Depth? Bah, I don't know what the 'ells it's called. As fer the tea, I quaffed it quick as I drain me ale. Ain't much more to say about that! Ahhh, I don't fear sweets no more, an' it's all thanks to the two o' ye! Things'll work out between me an' me man, I'm sure of it!
You've done it, Forename! You've converted a skeptic! By holding back on the chestnut purée's sweetness, you helped her to overcome her irrational fear and so introduced her to a whole new world of flavors. Ah, this does take me back... You will have guessed from my colorful language, but I used to be a member of the Sanguine Sirens. Unfortunately, I was prone to seasickness, and it never got better. As a result, I ended up grounded and waitressing for the Missing Member. At first I loathed the work. I hated that my dreams were taken from me, just because I couldn't keep the contents of my stomach where they belong. It was then, when I was wallowing in self-pity, that I first tasted H'mhasi Tia's cooking. It made me know that I was a part of something special here. Back then, H'mhasi Tia was a simple man with a simple passion. He wanted to be at the pinnacle of his craft, and he worked tirelessly to reach it. But then he did, and it turned 'im into a stuck-up, self-lovin' sack o' shite! ...Ahem. Beg your pardons again. My old mannerisms tend to surface when I'm riled up. At any rate, thank you for your help today! Having now seen you in action, I look forward to the Dellemont d'Or with even greater relish!